Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I need to stop coming to work sober
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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