I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
