Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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