Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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