I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
