We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
