just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
