Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
