Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
