What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
how does that bad decision feel?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
