It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
