I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
