have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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