I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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