i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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