i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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