please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
me + whiskey = a bad person
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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