Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
