he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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