It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
