Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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