laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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