he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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