We should be called the Road Head Warriors
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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