I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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