fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
