Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
