I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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