sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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