real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
