In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
