Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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