my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
