I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
