Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize