Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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