420 ftw
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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