Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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