dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
