Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
