When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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