dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
