Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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