dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
