There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
