I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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