you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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