I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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