is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
