I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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