hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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